Josh and Emma, were so in love. Not just with one another but with the psychedelia they experienced together. They considered themselves to have been paired in a realm that is not quite close to the reality we see. Their meetings were very less remembered soberly. Being in a state of trance was like in a character that was so relatable to each other, that it made them forget that a sober world existed.
They were the so cute drug addict a couple, which seemed to be a relationship goal that no one confesses.
They were in a community that allowed them to get high on their own supply and also make a living out of. Everything was just a transaction. They sold drugs to people from all around the world. What they lived in was paradise. Amsterdam. Need I say anymore.
Emma was a runaway foster child who grew up in the ruins of Brazil. Josh was a spoilt millionaire offspring. They met in Amsterdam and just like in the movies they knew they were for each other. They stayed together and worked out of their garage. They got their supply from Johor Bahu, a small unknown district in the South of Malaysia. They arrived at Johor Bahu and received their consignment from Mallorca. The purest form of Heroin and phoenix was developed nowhere in the world but here. If there was any sobriety left in their lives that was only when they travelled across the ocean to collect their supply.
They didn’t really appreciate each others company sober but they resorted to such a protocol. The reason being authenticity. That’s the thing about druggie couples, they’re as authentic as the euphoria one experiences after the dosage of the drugs. Their love for one another in a state of trance allows them to rather be ethical in what they do than cheat.
They handled their business by their quarterly sober trips to JB from Amsterdam, in Josh’s Charted flight and travelled back without any noise. Amsterdam was their forte. The rest of the world, they didn’t seem curious to conquer.
14 months into the relationship they had made enough money to last a lifetime. But then greed overtook the realization part. They knew it was due for sometime later. But then again karma had to take a detour.
For a drug dealer, understanding the working of a drug in your body is quite complex. But one knows his or her limit. And also knows when to cross it. And that night had arrived when the overdose of heroin led to Emma asphyxiating and bleeding to death. Leaving Josh much later to realize the fact that she was gone. But then the supply wasn’t what they normally had for an intake. The euphoria didn’t just make them float but made them travel. Travel through time.
Josh woke up with alternate memories of events. He remembered Emma alive and dying. He couldn’t make much sense to himself that moment. Usually, such reality checks occur as dreams or hallucinations as being a part of the euphoria. But this wasn’t that. It was vivid, it was painstakingly original and somehow didn’t occur being in terms with what he had remembered. But then he did end up in a reality where Emma was no more. Emma had passed away right beside him hours ago and he couldn’t do anything about it.
He had flashes of what is called reality clashes. He couldn’t accept reality as the it was. He had never experienced an episode so terrific yet horrifying at the same time. He needed answers. Answers which lie nowhere but in another dosage of the same sample of heroin they had consumed. At that moment the fact that he could lose himself didn’t strike him. He was more curious than cautious. And he injected another dose.
He saw himself gradually lose consciousness. His body slowly stopped understanding the concept of gravity. He reunited with his original self and set on a journey that best satisfied his purpose of living.
And before he knew it he opened his eyes again. And Emma was right beside him looking into his eyes. The exact same way he remembered the last of her. The strongest feeling of Deja Vu got to him. And that moment was when he realized that he was back to where he began. He felt that he helped her resurrect. He got to the better part of the reality clash he had. The part where she’s still alive. The part where he could save her. The alternate reality that he found a pathway to. The chance he can’t afford to let go.
Josh cheated the timeline.
In the hazy vision of Emma in front of him and him not feeling his body weight, he managed to sit her up and shake her to reality. “Emma” “Emma” he yelled as he continued to shake her up.
Emma found it hard to open her eyes to make contact. He could feel her heartbeat. He could feel her tripping off the floor. He held her down strongly. He felt what she was going through. An outer body experience is what it could be termed as. Josh lived in two places at once.
He used a “Kick up”, which is the extreme step one takes to get oneself back to reality. It’s risky and not advisable but he didn’t see much of a choice. They snapped back together in the same bed he saw her go. Emma was alive.
That moment was supernatural. That moment they were on the same page. That moment they resurrected together.
– Aravind Sashank
Read more of his works in our book – ‘Of Blood and Ink’